Bite 83: Applications from My Life

Application is Our Goal

Before we do anything else, let’s remember to read our text of Ephesians 5:15-6:9.

Next, I want to keep a broad view as I make application. To accomplish that, let’s review where we are. In our passage, Paul declares in his summary of how the child of God should walk that being filled with the Spirit has to do with our words, our attitudes of the heart, and how we treat each other.

• Addressing one another using these, Ephesians 5:19
• Giving thanks always and for everything, Ephesians 5:20
• Submitting to one another, Ephesians 5:21

As is usual with Paul, he gives such a “honey-do” list but then expands on the last one in the list. We’ve discussed this in brief before, that Paul wants his audience to understand that submitting to one another is the tip of the iceberg. It goes deep. Deep into marriage relationships, parent/child relationships, and employer/employee relationships.

Huh. I was just asking myself if there are any other groups that he didn’t cover by mentioning these. Friendships. Why did Paul leave out friendships, I wonder? As Sproul always said, if I want to understand the philosopher, understand the question he’s answering. I will mull that over. Perhaps friendships are encompassed by the general imperative of submitting to one another. I don’t know. Mull.

Approaching Application

First, since we are gathering together, just you and me, for the purpose of together learning how to be better students of the Word, you won’t mind me applying something as specific as “I’m a wife therefore I will….” Because our time together isn’t for you to consume what I learn but for you to consume how another student of the Word studies so you can study for yourself and be able to understand what the author is saying in order to make your own applications from there.

Second, as I look at the possibility of making an application from the ESV’s wives submit to your own husbands (Ephesians 5:22), there a couple of points of clarification I’d like to have.

Tiny Bit of Textual Criticism

If we were to pour over the Greek text of Ephesians 5:21-22, using the relative little that we collectively know about how to read Greek, we would find a strange situation. In verse 21, the word ὑποτασσόμενοι appears, but in verse 22, no such word appears. ὑποτασσόμενοι is the word in the text the translators translate into submit.

Yup. Paul didn’t say, “wives submit to your husbands” as much as he said, “just like everyone is to submit to one another, wives also to your husbands.” The submit concept is understood from Ephesians 5:21, the verse immediately preceding. Paul could have used the word again to emphasize to wife-folk everywhere for all time to submit. (Repetition indicates emphasis.) But he didn’t. He said everybody do this submit action and then wives likewise to their husbands, as to the Lord.

Just to be clear, the meaning, according to the translators (we rely on their expertise), is that wives are to submit. It’s understood from the way Paul wrote it in Greek. From the grammatical construction, they supplement the English word submit in Ephesians 5:22 in our Bibles for clarification. Because we English-speakers are like that, needing clarification.

Tiny Bit of Dictionary

Not wanting our joint study and discussion of this passage to drag on interminably, I did more study earlier and on my own. I will share the definition I found in Mounce’s dictionary at this point since it is pertinent to understand what I’m committing to when I make an application like “I will submit…”

[5718] ὑποτάσσω hypotassō 38× to place or arrange under; to subordinate,1
 New Testament
Verb: ὑποτάσσω (hypotassō) hypotassō means “to submit, be subject.” hypotassō in general communicates some sense of hierarchy. Context must determine, however, whether or not this subordination is required or voluntary, for hypotassō is not synonymous with obedience.2

To submit to one another is one of these voluntary situations. We are not commanded by Paul here to obey one another, but to place ourselves under one another. Paul tells us to prefer what another prefers, but out of reverence to Christ. So that creates limits on the submission to one another. I’m not going to define those limits for you. That is for your own study and decision. But what we submit to is out of reverence for Christ.

And just like the preferring business with one another. Do that, wives, to your husbands. That is submitting defined in our passage.

“Yes, Dear” Submission

We like similar foods. Except seafood. Jeremy loves seafood. Seafood is not my favorite and it’s expensive here in the middle of the United States, and as the grocery-gatherer, I don’t buy it.

Our eyes are pleased by similar styles. For example, when doing construction projects, questions like “this flooring or that flooring?” would arise. Questions that were easily answered by “which one is cheaper?” Solidarity on points like those.

We like IPAs because we are adventurous folk. When Jeremy is interested in Dungeons and Dragons or Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, I enter into his interest. Since I am interested in pottery, Jeremy entered into my interest by outfitting me with tools and learning some of the theories and principles behind the art. These are applications that have been made over the years in our marriage with regard for both of us. In submission, me toward him, and also him loving me.

A Story

Do you like stories? I love stories. As I always say, “Life is in the details.” Indulge me in a story that illustrates the boots-on-the-ground submission toward my beloved and his love for me that is in our marriage. I guess I’m not making new application this time as much as sharing with you how submission has been implemented in my life.

This is a long story so I will only give you the briefest of details.

Background

Since we moved to Colorado, wheeling has been an important part of my adventure life. About 5 years ago, I was jeeping in Moab with our manual transmission jeep. Attempting to pass through Mirror Gulch on Metal Masher, I was failing to manipulate the stick well while rock crawling. We were in serious peril for body damage as I wrestled with the problem of ooching over to the driver side each time I attempted to climb through this narrow passage. Ever closer to the wall of rock.

At that moment, Jeremy decided we needed to get an automatic transmission jeep to avoid the drama the standard added.

Conflict

Two weeks after I bought the Tank-colored jeep, I was firing my kiln. It’s a process that takes sometimes as long as 12 hours of tending. On that particular morning, Jeremy said, “There is another Hypergreen jeep I want to look at.” Again, to shorten the story, I flew off the handle. Not just a little. I yelled at Jeremy for not being satisfied with a perfectly good jeep for a good price, blah blah blah. At high volume. For most of the morning.

Super submissive, right?

Eventually, I just stopped talking to (read yelling at) him. I muttered to myself the rest of the day about how dumb this idea was. Not to him overtly. And he even said, “This is probably the dumbest financial decision we could make.”

At 4 pm, my kiln got to the temperature it needed and I turned it off. Through the day, Jeremy had been in contact with the dealership IN OKLAHOMA CITY (12 hours away), negotiating the terms. Finally, I relented and we packed some food and began what I knew was going to be a fool’s errand to look at one more jeep. After we’d already bought a new-to-us jeep. Two weeks earlier.

Road Trip

How is this story an example of wifely submission and husbandly love? Well, the love part is obvious. Jeremy knew what I REALLY wanted and it wasn’t a drab green jeep. Wifely submission? I did not think it was a good idea. More strong language is required: I was positive it was a BAD idea.

Arranging Under

This is the definition of submission. “To arrange under, to subordinate.” I declared my opinion on the matter. After making myself loud and clear, my husband listened and agreed that this was probably a bad idea, but he wanted to go check it out anyway. Submission for me was to arrange under that decision and go along with it.

“As to the Lord” Submission

Here’s another story. Don’t worry, it’s shorter.

You know when you’re sick? Nothing feels right. Whatever happens has negative attached to it. Well, my beloved is sick right now. Flu or some such thing. His personality isn’t the same easy-going sort of fellow when he’s sick.

Well, because he’s sick, he’s been hanging out on the couch watching BJJ videos, looking at sourdough bread baking I might be interested in, observing how screwed up the country is. Normal “I haven’t got anything better to do” internet activity. When he sees something he knows I’d be interested in, he sends it to me.

Enter the problem. Since the beginning of the panic-demic, I have tried to limit my exposure to social media. Within the last week or so, I’ve noticed if I do anything on social media other than post for pottery purposes, the darkness in my head swirls and I descend into a rabbit hole of depression. So I’ve decided to fill that rabbit hole in with rocks by not scrolling through or even visiting social media. At all. I go on one of the sites maybe once a day to keep pottery or baking or my son Kyle calls it “branding” on my feed.

In case you didn’t know like I didn’t know, “branding” in my world is all the stuff this potter does. If you have a business on the web, your branding would be what you do. I think I understand that right.

Disagreement

On more than one occasion, Jeremy has asked, “Did you see the video I sent you?” Invariably, if he sent it in some social media format, the answer is “no.”

During his illness, this conversation occurred again. I’m not relating this anecdote to make my beloved look bad. He’s sick and that messes up a guy’s head and personality. But when this conversation occurred yesterday, he said, “Why do I even send you anything?”

Just because something is posted to social media does not mean I don’t want to see something, especially if Jeremy thinks I’d be interested in it. However, I won’t be going looking for it in the apps on my phone. And I don’t get notifications for social media so I’m not tempted to go look at it.

Tiny Side Note

This limited exposure to social media isn’t what I think everyone should do. It is what I need to do. I have a weak mind that succumbs to pressures of the world and gets crushed. Ignoring social media is what I need to do to function without darkness overwhelming. No judgment. I do what I do and you do you. End side note.

Submit to the Lord

Since I’m not in Jeremy’s fever-filled head, I don’t actually know what was going on in there. The rest of Jeremy’s life and attitude toward me is always protection and love for me. Therefore, I assume he was having a cranky, out-of-character moment when his response was, “Fine, I won’t send you anything.” However, with this passage in mind, I practiced submitting to the Lord.

In order to be a whole person and not a puddle of hopelessness on the floor, I know that I can’t be involved with the world of social media. My response to him when I hadn’t seen the video he sent me was, “I want to see what you think is interesting. But I also need to preserve my mental health so please tell me where it is so I can go right to it rather than stumble around to find it.”

Submission to my own husband is arranging myself under his authority. However, my ultimate authority is the Lord. When Jeremy has a momentary lapse in his normal and nurturing personality, Jesus is the one to whom I ultimately submit.

Honor Your Parents

Interesting that the applications I have to share from this passage are recounting the history of my life. Perhaps it’s because I have studied this passage repeatedly and have worked through a lot of my stuff already. Which isn’t to say that I don’t still have work to do in order to submit to my own husband or, in this case here in a moment, continue to honor my parents. Who are dead.

My folks were…hm. I’m here in spite of the upbringing. Let’s just say that. If you had a difficult childhood, I’m here to tell you that at least in a small way, I understand your pain. And in no way am I excusing your parents’ bad behavior. But what they did to us is not who we have to be. That does not need to be our identity. This is my segway into application for honor your parents.

Remember the Definition

We learned that to honor is to assign weight, meaning to someone or something. To honor is to hold someone in high regard. Does the definition say anything about the person’s or object’s actual value? Does the passage? I don’t think it does. When I read it, I only see my responsibility in Ephesians 6:1-3.

I Will Honor

My responsibility is to view my parents with regard. Not excuse them for acts of violence. I will not rewrite history or soften their hard edges. I might not talk about them much because I don’t feel like I can keep my anger and indignation out of the telling. But what I can do is live in a way that makes my parents look like they did a good job. When I live as if they did a good job, it not only obeys my heavenly Dad by honoring them, it is beneficial to me.

How do I make them look good? Actually by living differently than they did. By observing their poor choices and doing the opposite. I often say, “Everyone is an example.”

• I choose joy.
• When someone hurts me, I (usually) return kindness rather than retaliate or hold a grudge.
• If the store under-charges me or misses an item, I go back and pay the right amount.
• Ask my kids who know me; I am not passive aggressive and I don’t manipulate them.
• I love my husband.
• Pretty much, what you see is what you get.

When I for reals open up to someone and explain where I came from and that person says, “How are you even functional?” I then have some idea that I have honored at least the office of parent that they held.

And now I’m done talking about that because when I think about it too much, my weak mind gets sad and dark. I choose joy. That is my application.

Reflection

I didn’t make application within our time together, like I said, because I’ve spent many years considering and processing this passage of scripture. In reality, I’m perpetually applying this passage. These imperatives of Paul’s are near and dear to my heart, in the front of my mind daily. Now that I’ve studied it again, I see why. It all ties back to Jesus: knowing him and making him known.

In the OT

You know how King Lemeul’s mom taught him about women in Proverbs 31? One of the things she told him was that this excellent woman’s husband was known in the gates (Proverbs 31:23). The way I’ve heard this line taught was that the wife was the kind of gal that made him look good among the leaders and prominent folk in his town. There could be mutual respect because she was someone who did Right Things. If you read through Proverbs 31 about this type of woman, you can see she is industrious and skilled, resourceful, generous, wise, kind.

This is a wife who makes her husband look good, doesn’t she? If you consider back in history, 1 Samuel 25:1-42 recounts the exchange between Nabal and David. Abigail, Nabal’s wife was a wife who made her (dummy) husband look good. And it ultimately was to her benefit as well.

With Regard to My Husband

We have in our passage, the call for wives to submit. Considering the context of scripture will help me keep my view broad particularly as I dial in on personal application. Therefore it is scriptural to make application from our passage and say, “I will behave in a way that causes my husband to be respected among his peers.”

There is also opportunity for implication from these OT passages. Just like Nabal as a (dummy) husband who cannot be trusted to act with wisdom as his guide, there are (dummy) parents who cannot be trusted to act or instruct with wisdom as their guide.

With Regard to Parents

I know I said I was done talking about them, but I need to share a small example for the purpose of concrete illustration. When I was about 7 or 8 years old, my mother would take me with her on Thursdays after we’d closed to the local Mark-N-Pak in order to get supplies for our mom-and-pop restaurant. She would put 25 pound bags of sugar on the bottom of the cart and then tell me to not tell the cashier they were there. Then she would pay for the groceries she put on the counter and wheel the cart out without paying for the sugar. This is a parent from whom no one should take instruction or counsel.

How to honor her? By way of implication, I can make her look good. Just like Abigail could make Nabal not look like the donkey’s hind end to David by doing what was good and right, I can make my mom look like she taught me in the ways of Godly wisdom rather than the ways of worldly wisdom. “I will behave in a way that causes my parents to look like they brought me up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” And when I do that, it’s to my own benefit.

With Regard to the Trinity

The idea of making those around me look good, ultimately goes back to the passage being tied back to God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. How has Paul talked about making the Trinity look good? Let me show you how I see it.

• Walk in a manner worthy of the calling (Ephesians 4:1)
  • Make the calling look good
• Stop doing things because they are corrupt and start doing these things because they look like God (Ephesians 4:22-24)
  • Looking like God would make God look good
• No longer walk as aliens of God (Ephesians 4:17)
  • Walking as friends of God makes God look good
• Don’t make the Holy Spirit sad (Ephesians 4:30)
  • Making the Holy Spirit sad makes everyone else sad eventually
• Imitate your heavenly Dad (Ephesians 5:1)
  • Copying a perfect Father would make the Father look good
• Be proper (Ephesians 5:3)
  • Being proper makes God look good
• Walk as kids of the light (Ephesians 5:8)
  • We already addressed looking like God makes him look good
• Figure out what pleases the Lord (Ephesians 5:10)
  • Pleasing the perfect Lord makes him look good
• Look at Jesus as an example and follow (Ephesians 5:29)
  • Yes. Perfect Lord following makes him look good

See how it all goes together? As I walk, I will think about who God is and what makes him look good. And at the end of the day, when I make God look good, it will ultimately be to my benefit as well. Cherry on the sundae, if you will.

Like in Titus where it says believers should adorn the doctrine of God our Savior. Doctrine doesn’t need help, but we can adorn. Decorate. Enhance. Make it look good.

Wrap Up

I was going to talk about textual criticism in our Bible Study Bite today. However, after this lengthy consideration of application and implication, I think it useful to reiterate the difference.

Finding the Pattern and Paradigm

When we study a passage and come to understanding of what the author intended to convey, we then need to discover how that truth should alter our lives. Dr. Stein has a chapter in his book A Basic Guide to Interpreting the Bible all about this topic. His instruction to his students is to understand the basic pattern of meaning. Find the principle from the passage.

In our case, my understanding of the basic pattern of meaning is “make my beloved look good.” I can take that basic pattern and extend it out to a paradigm of “make those who have been in authority over me look good.” The extension is not “make everyone around me look good,” but those who have taught me, counseled with wisdom over time, have me under their authority in some way. Like a boss if I were employed outside the home.

Dr. Stein’s example is the verse that talks about not being drunk with wine. The pattern of meaning has to do with not being controlled by a substance so that I can no longer think. Dr. Stein’s food weakness is cashews. Paul is not talking about the eating of cashews because cashews don’t cause Dr. Stein to no longer be in control of himself. But the implication would be concerning beer, gin, whisky, and the like.

See the difference between application and implication?

Thanks for studying with me today! If you’ve found anything helpful here, please like and subscribe. And if you know of other students of the Word, would you please share so we can all study and encourage each other with what we’re learning?

1. Mounce, W. D. (2006). Mounce’s Complete Expository Dictionary of Old & New Testament Words (p. 1300). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.
2. Mounce, W. D. (2006). Mounce’s Complete Expository Dictionary of Old & New Testament Words (p. 694). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.